Skating to the 70s


I'm fairly certain one of the Olympic competitors just skated a portion of her long program to an orchestral arrangement of "All By Myself" by Eric Carmen.

Ice skating used to seem more exciting. You could fudge a few landings, but if you had brilliant choreography and put on a great show, you could eke out a win. Not anymore. Now it's all about the math.

You must now include 12 quadruple jumps, 37 spins at varying heights and speeds, 4 somersaults, 2 in a pike position, and skate all that to a generic symphonic piece because no one's listening to the music.

Most of the programs are surprisingly boring given that they're racing around a slick surface and at any moment could go down in a slippery, icy wipe out.

It might be time to conduct the short track speed skating at the same time as the figure skating.