Hey, Migraine

I thought I was clear before - I don't want to see you anymore. I know we've been off & on for years, but our situation wasn't healthy for me. I've moved on.

Me and General Tension Headache have been together for a while now and it's going well. He stops by now & then and reminds me to buy more Advil. It's no Love Story, but it's safe.

When you first came by this morning I didn't even realize it was you. I thought you were Sinus Headache, another loser I've asked not to call me anymore.

You guys sometimes look alike - I'm not being racist - you both come from about the same place and it can be hard to tell you apart.

But before too long I knew it was you when you had to go and destroy the left side of my face. Was the baseball bat to the cheekbone really necessary? I get it - there's almost no analgesic you can't defeat - but no one likes a showoff.

And the hot and cold thing - so ass. On top of the bone-crushing pain, you have to mess with my thermostat. Lame. It doesn't add much to your big show. Ooh! - covers on, covers off - big deal.

Go ahead and add nausea to the whole thing, but follow through. Like always, you couldn't stick with it and I was left unfulfilled. The throwing up can be the best part. But again, all that build up and then - poof - nothing - you couldn't keep it up.

The best part, for me, was that I didn't need help getting rid of you. Maybe you got bored with the resting, deep breathing and water drinking.

Of course, you overstayed your welcome by several hours, and then you left like the spineless ass you are, quietly slipping away without a word.