Stupid in a Can


There was some serious stupid on the roads today. A jackass in Napa, upset that he ended up behind a truck on a two-lane road, felt it necessary to flip off the truck driver once he managed to get around it. Nice.

Later, I was cruising down Highway 12 when a TOTAL dumbshit turned onto the highway directly in front of me. It wasn't a blind turn - it was a wide open side road joining the highway.

He drifted right into the lane of traffic, totally unaware that he was merging onto a major thoroughfare, though "merging" isn't the best word - it was more like a giant dump thrown onto the road.

In that moment I clearly understood the rage of the road. Not only was it incredibly rude and inconsiderate, it was dangerous. Someone with slower reflexes (or bad brakes) would have slammed right into his lame ass and sent him and his equally blind passenger to the ER.

Then, THEN - at the ONLY passing lane there is on that stretch of road, he friggin camped in the left lane and made it impossible to pass him - because a capable driver in front of him had already moved into the right lane, leaving no space to maneuver around him on the right. AND HE WASN'T PASSING ANYONE!!!

Omigod, if only I'd had a rotten egg-shooting bazooka, that Hyundai would have been slathered in stinky egg carcasses. Seriously - someone please make me a rotten egg-shooting bazooka.