So... there's a lot going on right now. More than I can get into at the moment. Suffice it to say, life is extremely stressful. Stress like I've not known in some time. I feel ill-equipped to deal with it.
What is this panicky, heavy blanket of anxiety I can't shake off? Even if I could, where would I put it? What can I do with it?
The other day I went running for an hour in 80-degree, humid weather. I'm not even in shape enough to run for an hour, especially in stifling heat. The next day I lifted weights for over an hour. Now my left knee is not happy, but I don't know what else to do.
I could start drinking. A lot. But I have to make phone calls, write intelligible emails, use the car... so, that option isn't an option. But I fully understand the desire to toss back a few to just take the edge off so you can keep going. You'd think Jack Bauer would travel with a very large flask.
So now I'm doing what I usually do when faced with extreme stress... cutting scope and supplementing with copious amounts of carbohydrates.
In my former life as a producer, when the budget (time, money, or sanity) ran short of the desired scope, the red pen came out and features were cut to fit the withering budget. If I had extra sanity, I'd gladly spend it. If only.
I'd planned to drive down to Alameda next week to see my niece graduate from high school and help celebrate the parents' 50th anniversary, but there's no way I can go now. Nor can I even think about all I'd have to do to prepare, pack, etc. So, that's out. Bummer, but it relieves some pressure.
Also providing some relief - carbohydrates. Simple, sinful carbohydrates fulfill a critical role - soothing serotonin. This must be why diets like Atkins & South Beach never work long-term. Life happens.
When life happens, an egg white omelet is not going to calm anyone down. Giant bowl of cereal? YES. Chips & salsa? YES. Häagen-Dazs Raspberry Sorbet? YES.
I ate so many chips the other day I swear I was sweating corn and salt.
Naps help, too, once the serotonin kicks in and I can breathe. Feels like it's about that time right now.